05 April 2009

Even nerds need to do stupid things

Yesterday, I went and saw Fast & Furious with three of my friends (don't judge). It was hilariously awful....we kept wondering when the movie would be over. And when it was, all we did was laugh at how completely awful the movie was. So, why, you may be asking yourself, did we waste five dollars on a movie we knew was going to be awful. Well, (1) all the other movies available would have probably been just as awful, (2) it's fun to make fun of movies, and (3) why would you go see a movie you actually think might be good with your friends?! Then you'd actually watch it instead of making fun of it! In the end, it wasn't a "wasted" 5 dollars. Sure, the movie was horrible. But the experience of making fun of it and laughing and...just having experienced such a horrible movie together is what made it such a great time

We may be nerds, but we need to do stupid things, okay? Even if they're "nerdy" stupid things. And I don't mean unintentionally stupid things liking running into a tree branch or your locker door (I have experienced both of these things. I'm kind of clumsy.) I mean intentionally deciding, "Today we're going to go see a stupid movie," or "Today I'm going to see if I can fall down the stairs and land on my feet.

I present you with: Kat's top 10 reasons to do stupid things (a lot of them will focus on seeing dumb movies, since that's what I did yesterday) 1. You can laugh about it afterwards!
See, what will ultimately be so fun about having seen such a stupid movie is that we'll be able to laugh about it on Monday! And it will be our secret! Our inside joke!!!! People will ask us, "Why in the world did you go see that movie? Did something fall on your head?" And we'll just laugh, because there are actually some pretty funny things about that movie....again, hilariously awful. But, let's say you dared one of your friends to jump out a window in French class (actually happened in my sister's class. and he DID jump). Pretty stupid. But, this happened in...oh, December or November. And we're all still laughing about it! Basically, doing stupid things gives you a conversation piece.
2. You can make nerdy jokes about it.
For example, in the movie yesterday, when they shot the car tires, the car went way up, like doing a wheelie, standing on its back wheels, before it fell over and crashed. Now, non-nerds just think that's stupid. However, being a nerd, I sit there thinking, "That's not proper physics!" Actually, honestly, I had an image of my physics teacher watching it, twitching saying, "That's not physics! Cars don't do that! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" But let's say you're trying to melt a record in your friend's broiler (yet another true story). You can joke about all the toxic chemicals you've probably just released and how now you're going to get cancer.
3. You might get a better grade on a project.
This goes back to the whole melting a record thing. See, for English we had to do a project for The Road where we took an artifact from current times (okay, relatively current) and pretended we were discovering it as new inhabitants of Earth in like....2600 or something. Anyway, we decided it would make sense that if we were discovering something, it would probably look really old and dirty and warped. So, what did we do? Well, first we scratched up the record, a CD, and a DVD on the road. Then we tried burning it with a lighter. That didn't work, so we put them in my friend Melissa's broiler for 5 minutes....in the process releasing toxic fumes and probably permanently messing with the structure of our lungs. It wasn't the smartest idea, but our English teacher loved it! Full credit!! YES!!!!

4. It messes up the nerd stereotype!!!
See, when nerds do stupid things, it makes the world stop turning for a second. Everyone stands still, aghast. Nerds are supposed to be the smart ones!!! Why are they riding mattresses down staircases (yet another thing I have done) and burning records and seeing dumb movies? NO!!! Someone fix this!!! And isn't it always fun to confuse everyone? Mess with the social structure...or just teach society that nerds can have fun, too!
5. You can make new friends.
Now, this applies to doing something stupid like walking up to someone and asking them what the capital of Bulgaria is....in Bulgarian. (Now, this, I have not done. For one thing, I don't know Bulgarian. For another, no one has every dared me to do it. But if I get enough comments telling me to, maybe I will...and I'll take a video and post it on YouTube!) Okay, so you might not make friends. You might get escorted away my security. Or they might stare at you blankly. Or they might run away. OR, YOU MIGHT MAKE A FRIEND. Granted, a friend who thinks you're Bulgarian, but what's wrong with that, really? Also, just doing anything stupid in front of other people might make them want to be your friend! Score!
6. You have really good material for stories.
Let's say you're at a party and no one's talking. Everyone's just staring around the room, drinking from their glasses, trying not to make eye contact. It's getting really awkward, isn't it? Now, you could just leave. Or, you could start into a long-winded story of that time you crammed 7 people into the cab of a truck because it was raining and lightning and you were in the middle of a parking lot, the tallest things around. (Another true story) Suddenly, you're the interesting person. Suddenly, the party isn't boring anymore. Suddenly, the host is coming up to you afterwards, hugging you and thanking you and worshipping you for getting everyone to have some fun, because they hadn't planned anything! You SAVED THE PARTY!
7. You can teach other people.
Usually, the only reason you'd be telling someone not to burn a record (it smells awful, it's dangerous, don't do it) would be that you'd done it before. Or, you could be telling someone that they SHOULD mattress surf down stairs because it's a ton of fun and you feel like you're flying. Either way, you are informing the masses. Either saving their lives or saving them from boredom.
8. You have endless ways to amuse yourself.
Let's say it's blizzarding, and you're stuck in your house. So why don't you see what happens when you slide across your wood floor in your socks and run into your wall? Or how many times you have to fall down the stairs until you can land on your feet? Or see what it looks like when you mix toothpaste and shampoo with orange juice? Endless amusement from stupid things!
9. Let's face it. Even nerds need to have some FUN!
Sure, we may be nerds. Who love reading and writing and daydreaming and all that. But every once in a while, we need to get out and do something stupid. That could be going roller skating when you KNOW you're going to fall on your butt every other minute. It could be daring someone to jump out a window (a low one, okay? DO NOT HURT YOURSELF!!!) Or perhaps you decide to sit in the mall all day, asking everyone who walks by what planet you're on. Or, maybe, you just go to see a stupid, awful movie and make fun of it. Whatever it is, you need to have fun, my nerdy friend. Don't just sit back and watch everyone else do it.
I mean, if you do something stupid, you have something to blog about, right? Something original, something hilarious, something fun! Or, you could write the next best novel about a character who does everything stupid that you've ever done. I mean, come on. I don't think John Green could've written those novels with the characters doing stupid things if he'd never done anything stupid and just stayed holed up in his room his entire life.


Umm...I hope you enjoyed that. In other news, Michigan State made it to the finals! YES!!!!!! Oh, and the blizzard warning was a dud. We probably got about 2 inches of snow...

Cheers! DFTBA!

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