14 August 2008

Terminus, part five: Post-Terminus depression

So. I’ve been home for…about three days now, estimated. And it still doesn’t feel any less weird to be home. I miss everyone and everything about Terminus so much it actually hurts. Or….well, that headache is actually probably because I’ve been so sleep-deprived and listened to so much loud music. But I miss that.

I’m not kidding when I say I feel like I have Post-Terminus Depression. I’ve been really sleepy, which is probably mostly because of my lack of sleep. But I’ve also been awfully lazy (I haven’t been outside since Monday!!!) and nothing that I normally do during the summer interests me. Reading….well, it only interests me for about 30 minutes at a time post-terminus, whereas beforehand I’d get lost in books for hours. I don’t feel like watching TV or a movie or hanging out with IRL friends. Mostly I’ve been moping around on youtube and facebook, writing and listening to wrock.

Seriously. It feels so strange to be home. I don’t have people around me constantly, and I don’t have to be running around trying to get to a presentation or meet-up with friends. I can’t walk downstairs and see a bunch of people dressed in robes. I get weird looks when I wear Wrock/Leaky/PotterCast/Terminus shirts or carry a wand. No one at home quite understands me the way all y’all from Terminus do……

I don’t really know how to explain how upset I am that Terminus is over. The feeling is so overwhelming that it’s hard to put into words, and even if I managed, it would probably diminish the feeling. My stepmom says she “knows I miss my Harry Potter friends,” but I don’t think she fully understands. Only my amazing friends from Terminus truly understand my feelings after Terminus, how I miss even the crowded elevators and waiting to get into roundtables and staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning.

I still have a headache and the sniffles (not a full-blown cold like some people). I’m sleep-deprived and still trying to get used to being back at home….But everything that’s come out of Terminus, even the headache and sleepiness, are one hundred percent worth it. Because the friends I made, the love I felt, the memories I’ve taken away, the inside jokes that were made, and all the joy totally make everything worth it.

I miss y’all so, so much!!!!! And right now I think there’s a 50% chance I can go to LeakyCon….if I can find a chaperone. Anyone willing? *hugs all her Terminus friends tightly and refuses to let go*

(Note: entries on Sunday, the Ball, and Monday to come when I feel like writing again.)

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