Playlist of CD I was describing in last post

Don't worry. I'll get to the Harry Potter thoughts soon. Just thought I should post this. (Sadly, it is missing "Hour Follows Hour" by Ani Difranco because ProjectPlaylist is stupid and does not have this song. *sigh* I'll try to find it on YouTube, but either way, just FYI, it's supposed to be track number 11)

Ani Difranco's "Hour Follows Hour":

And, the final song on the CD is "Nerdfighter" by Lauren Fairweather of the Moaning Myrtles. This girl rocks my socks, and it's not exactly Harry Potter related, but I feel this way about most of my Harry Potter friends. Video:

Extraordinarly Long Post (Also known as: Kat has too many thoughts and needs to update this more)

Yeah. Cause I last updated this a week ago. And SO much has happened since then. I doubt anyone reads this or cares (shows the great confidence I have in myself, eh?), but I feel I should document my life somehow. I'd write it in my actual journal, but I type so much faster than I write by hand that this just makes a hell of a lot more sense to me.

Hmm...so if I posted on the 28th, that means I have to start with the 29th (wow, I know my dates!) I actually don't think anything happened on that day. *thinks hard* French, RamTime, Algebra II, Health, Lunch, Journalism, Driver's Ed...Yeah, unless that was the day Hannah and Emily tossed a bag full of Ramen back and forth so much that it got a hole and started spilling as it was thrown, nothing exciting. And I'm not sure it was that day. Wait, the Spurs played the Suns that day, too. And they won, winning the series, locking them for semi-finals against the Hornets. More on that later. Well, then on the 30th I took my permit test and passed. SQUEE!!!!!!! Other than that...umm...???(yeah, now you see why I really need to update this journal more often! For all I know, something freakishly exciting happened on that day and I just don't remember. But I sincerely doubt it.) Well, Thursday wasn't exciting school-wise as far as I know, either. It was Beltane, though! And..........IT SNOWED!!!!!!!!!! That's just NOT okay! I hate snow, and it just had to snow on my holiday. Hmmph. I don't have any control over the weather, though, so...We also took our actual Final for Driver's Ed that day and I passed with a 98 percent. :] Amazing, because I didn't think I'd do nearly that well--although, the final doesn't mean anything, really, just money off insurance to make my parents happy. But it was good and it made me happy (hence the smiley face).

Well, now, I actually have stuff to talk about related to Friday. In Earth Science we took our last test before the final, which it turns out I got one hundred percent on. Not surprising, since that is the easiest class (for me). In English we had our CLASS dress rehearsal, which actually went really well. Mrs. Pierce stopped all the other groups a bunch of times to tell them how to do certain things, where to move, how to act, and all that. But she didn't stop my group once!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! I've finally memorized all my lines, but I need to get a tad bit better at the timing that I say them (knowing what line by someone else leads into my line). Ian's somersault also went great, but we all need to work on not laughing at him and Austin on the stage, since we're supposed to think Ian's this big, strong, menacing, unbeatable wrestler. I also took a quiz in Biology which I forgot to study for but managed to get one hundred percent on by guessing and eliminating answers I knew weren't true. There's also the fact that I find that class really easy and know the material really well. But, anyway...That evening we had our May Girl Scout sleepover. They're always fun, though I'm definitely the quietest and most reserved of the group, so I feel a little left out sometimes. We watched the Mask of Zorro, which is a great movie, but I've been so tired lately because of driver's ed and the playoffs that I fell asleep halfway through. *sigh*

Okay, now onto Saturday. (Jeez, this is a long post!) Well, in the morning Dad and I went on errands: we finally cashed my checks from my birthday and returned two of the repeat gifts I got for my birthday. I also finally shipped the Girl Scout cookies to Anna and Mary Rose. Granted, two and half months late, but it's better late than never. And, now all their friends can be jealous because they have Girl Scout cookies and their friends have probably eaten all of theirs already. After that, I went hiking with Dad and Leslie. It was actually a really beautiful hike in a canyon by Cave of the Winds. It was the perfect day for walking in a canyon, too--it wasn't hot (but it wasn't cold) so the sun wasn't baking the bottom of the canyon. It was windy, which made it a good day to hike in a canyon where most of the wind was blocked rather than through a field like in the Paint Mines or on a ridge or something. Overall, the hike was just absolutely beautiful--fantastic views of the mountains and the blue Colorado sky. :] Unfortunately, my sister kind of ruined the overall pleasantness of the day by getting into this huge argument just because Dad has been asking her to clean her bathroom for months now and she refuses. She brought in so many things that had absolutely nothing to do with the bathroom--basically every bad emotion she's felt at this house and all the supposed bad things she has to do here (FHI: nearly every kid in the world does chores). And, somehow she worked me into the argument which just totally pissed me off. Going off on a tangent here:

• Okay, so supposedly I'm mean to my friends. I guess I honestly don't know, because that's all in their eyes and opinion, but I sincerely doubt it. I know I get grouchy and annoyed sometimes when I'm stressed or tired or sincerely upset about something, but I don't think I'm truly mean. For one thing, Allie and Mary Rose and Justi and sver/nor have told me how friendly, understanding, and honestly compassionate I am. I've heard it from my school friends, as well. And, for another, there's no point in being mean to my friends: I have so few of them that doing that would honestly be the stupidest thing in the world, way above all the things I mentioned doing in the previous post. I mean, maybe I should ask my friends if I think I'm mean to them, but...
• She got that supposedly because Malia told her that I said, "My sister and I don't really get along that well." Which is completely, honestly, one hundred percent true, whether she realizes it or not. She takes all the attention away from me--her bad things take the focus away from even the biggest good thing I do. Everyone worries about her and discusses her and...well, I feel left out. I've described the true feeling to sver/nor....*goes to search and see if can find the post to her* Yay! found it (well, at least a portion of it: Jaime, the reason for my questions about your siblings, or sibling, was because of your comments about how she is the one that gets the attention. I have two daughters, 14 months apart, and there was a certain amount of sibling rivalry going on there. The younger one was used to seeing the older one getting most of the attention, so she reacted by not wanting anything the older one had, or reading something the other one read first, etc. etc. It was the relatives that gave all this attention to the older one as she was the first baby in both families. However, the younger one was like you, Jaime. She was very diligent in her studies, and she loved books. She was also a perfectionist, so everything she did, she excelled in. She , like you, was friendly and outgoing, and nice to everybody, and didn't take sides. The older one was very smart also, but she was very social, and didn't apply herself as much to her schoolwork. The end result was that the older one got good grades but not outstanding, and the younger one received straight As always, and high SST scores. When the younger of two sisters outshines the older, you cant' praise the younger one too much, in front of the older one. And my mother was very protective over her, and didn't want her hurt. (me)Oh, well thanks. It really does help to feel like I have someone who really understands what I'm going through. Your younger daughter really does seem a lot like me, except for the outgoing part. I really am very shy, which doesn't help the whole my older sister gets more attention thing. The barrier seems to fall away once I start talking about Harry Potter, which is why y'all have probably never noticed. I am very friendly, but shy...someone has to talk to me first; I won't just go up and start a conversation with someone I don't know well. Still, other than that, your daughters are pretty much exactly like my sister and me. She gets good grades I suppose but is more into friends, while I sit at home and read. Maybe you could put me in contact with your younger daughter?
• Umm, I was going to say something else........Ah, right. What right does my sister have to say that I'm mean to my friends and how the hell does she know? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!

Anyway, she apologized for her behavior to Dad and Leslie, but she never said sorry to me. And she knows perfectly well that I heard every f-ing word she said about me. It peeves me that Dad and Leslie just accepted her apology, when she does this all the time. Seriously, this is not the first time she's turned a refusal to do something on her part or a refusal to give her something on Dad's part into World War III inside our house. So that kind of ruined my great Saturday...

On another note, I spent a good part of that night making my mixed CD for Peace46, which I think turned out really good. I went for a Harry Potter theme--a mix of songs from my previous two Harry Potter CDs I made for me and a few new songs. I sincerely hope she likes it anyway. And, the Spurs played the Hornets that night. They actually played real well the whole game, but the last quarter (the last 3 minutes, actually), the game got incredibly out of hand and they, unfortunately, lost. Ooooo, and I baked these amazing oatmeal chocolate chip cookies during the game! Omigoodness, heaven in a circle of dough :] And they're gone already! Sad...

So. Sunday. Was pretty boring. I kind of wanted to go for a run, but I didn't know how to bring it up last minute with Leslie, so that idea flew out the window to join the robins. I spent the morning retyping my Terminus paper because I couldn't find the file on my computer or the flash drive I saved it to. I've gotten it down to 17:44, which is good, but now I'm really wishing I kept it a 50-minute presentation instead, cause I'd like to include a video. But, if I can shorten it a bit more (by cutting out The Greater Good and psychology, which I might do), then I'll probably make at least a 3-minute video, since there should be time for questions according to Terminus. But I'd have to have someone show me how to make a video. ;] I also made the cover for my CD for Peace46, which took a surprisingly long time. I did a sunset on the ocean since that's what I'm best at drawing and it's kind of a universal theme. And, I went for the title of, "Wash off the Scars." It means a lot to me, since that's a line I included in my poem to Jo; "Jo, you've had your final word, now let us have ours:/There's only one thing left to do, after washing the scars". But, since y'all don't live in my head, I'll explain it to you. It actually kind of has two meanings. One: well, you know all those people who draw lightning bolt scars on themselves for the book releases? Well, that was part of the meaning that went into that line, because those people usually leave their drawn-on scars on while reading the book, and would wash them off after finishing. I originally meant the second line to include the word "off" but it didn't flow as well. Second meaning: Basically, just that all the deaths left scars on our hearts that, while we can't physically wash them, we had to cleanse--you know, cleanse ourselves of the sadness and the hurt we all felt. So, I'm not sure Peace46 will get that, but I'm going to try to include it in the letter I put with the CD. And, at least I'll always know that "Wash off the Scars" means something special Harry Potter-related to me.

Today, though, has been pretty...blah. French, Access, Algebra II, Health, Lunch, Journalism. Well, we got our Algebra II projects back...Ali and I got 100% (wow, is that becoming really redundant, or is it just me?) In Health we used the "drunk goggles" and did a bunch of stuff with them that made for a pretty amusing class. Lunch is always a good time, especially since today has been incredible weather. :]

(Note: This post has officially become too long and I am continuing my thoughts on Harry Potter into another journal entry. Please hold on tightly.)

100 hundred days!!!!!!!!

Until Terminus! *faints* *turns blue* Bahahahaha, no, I didn't actually do either of those things. But........ONE HUNDRED DAYS! That's it! (Okay, it may seem large to you, but it's actually really small) I'm so freaking excited. Seriously. Unless you are a big Harry Potter fan who has attended a conference, someone from the Terminus forum, or someone who's going to Terminus, I don' t think you'll understand. But it's exciting. Unfortunately, I haven't printed out my most recent version of my paper yet because our printer is out of toner. I could just put more in there but I really don't want to break the printer. Yes, my dad will be annoyed if I ask him to change the toner, but he'll just be flat out pissed off if I break our printer. SO. I'm going to just risk it and ask him, then watch him do it so maybe I can do it myself the next time and not break the printer. But...anyway. That was a really long rant about toner. Sorry.

Right. Back to the subject: 100 days until Terminus is here! Well, I also haven't had time to do a test pack recently. Or maybe I just don't want the weird looks from my family. I really honestly want to do another one, but I'll wait until a time when I have the house to myself and don't have driver's ed and Shakespeare festival and math and biology and health and earth science and french and...well, when I have TIME. Which won't be until like...June. *winks* Exciting news, though: My dad and stepmom agreed to get me the Atonement dress if I wear it to Sam's quincenaera (spelling?), Terminus, homecoming, and my sweet sixteen. Which I will. It's beautiful...though I just hope it looks just as good in "person."

Well, I had a really good weekend. On Saturday was Hannah's birthday party, which was amazing, no less than I'd expect from her. We played several fun games and she taught me how to play Egyptian rat slap, which is the funnest card game you will ever play. Then, on Sunday (morning) my English group met and spent more time laughing at Ian in his fat suit. The Spurs lost Game 4, but they are now ahead 3-1 back in San Antonio tomorrow, and the Suns aren't about to pull off four straight wins, since no team has done it before. (Hang on while I knock on my wooden desk just to make sure....Okay, I'm back.) We went to go see a play, which wasn't great, but THEN we went out to California pizza kitchen where I had the most amazing dinner =)

But as good as my weekend was, today actually kind of sucked. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't a good day either. Earth Science was brain-numbing, in English Austin and Ian would not focus, health was more boring than usual, and...all right. Biology was okay. But I've done several stupid things lately: helping someone cheat, accidentally breaking a paper lantern and not saying so, and refusing to do this improv thing in front of my peers (which was weird, because I'm willing to do it in front of strangers, but not these people who I've known since elementary school). In the long run, I think I'll forget all those things (and, frankly, I'd probably be thinking about it just as much if I had gone to do the improv thing, just in a different way) and none of them are really incredibly stupid. It's just I can't get them off my mind, especially at night. *sigh*

Currently/coming up for me: I am rereading Prince Caspian in anticipation of the movie. I am drowning in English homework. Drowning in stupid driver's ed stuff, too, but the classroom stuff will be over soon. Meanwhile, teachers are piling on more: a health project, a biology test, and an earth science test. A take-home Algebra II test in addition to a section of homework. To get through it all, I'm listening to PotterCast, thinking of Terminus, camp, and summer in general, reading, and trying to get as much running in as I possibly can.

If anyone actually reads this, I am sending happy thoughts your way. But depending on how far away you live, it could take a while for them to get there, as I have no control whatsoever over the postal service!

What I've been doing

I don't want to retype this, so I'm copying it from my Reading Group post. I'll make another post in a little while that's more exciting:

• So, the main reason I've been busy is that I've been doing driver's ed. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday for THRE AND A HALF HOURS!!!!!! I only have three classes left, but it's so boring. My instructor goes off topic all the time and talks like we've never even seen a car. Plus, we get large amounts of stupid reading homework and have to take quizzes and a midterm and a final and.....Well, I think that's enough for you to be able to figure out why I haven't been on lately.
• In addition to that, I have a big English project that we've been working on pretty much since we got back from Spring Break at the beginning of April. It's called Shakespeare festival and we have to perform an eight minute scene from a Shakespeare play with all the costumes, props, and scenery in front of a majority of the school. Along with that, we have to do this "prompt book" that has our script, the costumes, story of the play, scenery, and character analyses. In addition to THAT, we are reading Romeo and Juliet and doing in-depth worksheets, quizzes, journals, and a study guide with it. I love Shakespeare and I love English (my best subject), but this is just a tad bit overwhelming. All right. More than a tad. MUCH more than a tad.
• I've also had other homework, including a Math project (damn it, we aren't supposed to get projects in math!), a Health project, two science projects, and a lot of other general homework that basically takes up my time.

Well, so those are the reasons I've been busy, but I also wanted to fill you in on some of the things I have been doing when I have rare bits of free time.

• My stepmom and I are going to be doing a half-marathon this September, so I've been spending a good portion of my time running. My favorite was two weekends ago when we went running at Garden of the Gods. It was beautiful and the exercise felt absolutely amazing. Unfortunately, with driver's ed, I've only been getting to go on weekends. *sigh*
• I've actually been editing my Terminus paper like crazy, and I think I'm close to being done. But if any of y'all would like to read it and give me advice, please tell me!
• Well, I started Questauthor's books a week and a half ago and I just finished Charm Quest an hour ago. O my goodness Lisa! I bow down to your writing a hundred percent. It's amazing--many grammar errors (sorry) but I barely notice them because I'm so engrossed in the book. You have a great mind dear, and I anxiously await the 5th book!
• I got a haircut yesterday. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's kind of like Ginny's hair was in Order of the Phoenix. I'll try to post a picture when I can!

First

Spring Rain!!!!!!! Oh, my goodness! It was so exciting. I heard the raindrops on the window and immediately ran outside and stood in the rain for about five minutes, before deciding that I didn't want to get pneumonia and should start some homework. It was absolutely beautiful though, and the smell was incredibly relaxing to me, with everything that's been going on lately. The smell and the rain and the fresh air also helped clear my lungs. (for info on why my lungs needed cleared, keep reading. I'll mention it soon, I hope.) Now, however, it's a bit colder. It continued raining for a while, but got colder, so standing out in the rain became less exciting and happy...Ah, but how I love rain! SPRING REALLY IS HERE!!!!!! :]

Okay, so why my lungs needed cleared. Well, this morning there was a fire at school. Nothing all that unprecedented, since Rampart has a fire like every year. Someone set toilet paper on fire in the boy's bathroom *rolls eyes* But, I'm going to take this opportunity to be mad at the school. First, we stood outside for about 25 minutes before buses finally came for us to sit on. After that, basically no information got passed on to us: we didn't know if we would be going back to school or be dismissed or whatever. Overall, we were out of the school for about an hour before we got sent back to school (sadness). Personally, I don't think they should've cleared the school, or at least the freshmen hall, because the smoke was horrible. I don't actually know if I have asthma, because I've never been tested, but I think I do, especially after today. My health class is basically across from the boys bathroom and the smoke was horrible. It was a 45 minute class and I was coughing pretty much nonstop the whole time...it hurt to breathe at points and I was getting a really big headache. HONESTLY. And, I'm not the only person who had problems with the smoke. I'm better now, after fresh air at lunch, being in the tech wing (far away from the area the fire happened), and my rejuvenating dose of a spring rain shower. However, I do still keep having a few pretty bad cough attacks. *sigh*

On a happier note, I got a 96 on my math test, the one that I've been worried about ever since we started the chapter in March! SQUEE!!!!!!!

Four Months!!!!!!!!!

Until Terminus, Terminus, Terminus.....IS HERE!!!!!!!!! (that was kind of supposed to be musical, but I don't think I got the message across...) I'm really excited =) If the past three months seemed to fly by this fast, the next 4 shouldn't feel much longer, especially since I'll be gone at camp for basically one of them. But, really, I can't wait. I just want them to come out with the schedule already, because there are about a billion things I want to do, but I can't do all of them, and I need to see a schedule so I can better judge how I should be spending my time, when my presentation is, and when I should set up my Luna and Neville Intersection. I decided to sign up to volunteer at Terminus, though, finally, because Hallie said that I'd actually be arriving right on time for the training! SQUEE!!!!!!!! =D

Okay, enough of Terminus. Sorry. But in case you didn't gather, I'm really excited. Hmm...well, it snowed yesterday, which was really strange, because it wasn't especially cold outside. In fact, by the time I was walking home around 3:00 (I hung out with friends for a little while), it was warm and sunny. The thing I liked, though, was that it smelled like rain. I don't know why, really, but it did, and I love the smell of rain. =) It's just so beautiful. For some reason, that random rain smell really brought it home that it was spring now--even though the smell technically came from a snow shower...But, that's spring in Colorado for you!

April 10th is drawing ever closer, and I'm getting more and more upset about Fountain Valley. I'm trying not to express it too much, because I know my dad and stepmom feel bad, but...I want to go SO MUCH. I get really upset sitting in class usually because I find myself daydreaming about how much better, more stimulating, and more interactive {insert class name here} class would be at Fountain Valley. Of course, then people ask what's wrong and the whole thing gets kind of messy. But I'm just so bored and unhappy at Rampart and I don't feel like I'm being challenged or getting anywhere. *sigh* However, there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to change about it. Which is just even more depressing.

Today, however, I stayed after school until 4:30 because the library stayed open later. It was actually really nice, because most people had left the library so it was really quiet in there and I could do my homework in peace. Ali and I finished MOST of our math project, I finished my math homework, biology homework, health homework, part of my french homework, and looked at MP's comments about my Terminus paper. Which is a lot more than I would've gotten done at home, with my sister blaring the television. It was just nice to work in a quiet, peaceful environment. I still have a little bit of French and some English, but the English isn't due until Thursday.

Well...I don't have that much else to say. I'm uber excited for Terminus, I'm happy that it's (sort of Spring), I'm upset about Fountain Valley, and I finished most of my homework. Oh, and Leslie and I are going to aerobics really soon. Yep, that's basically the summary of my life right now.

It's April!!!

Usually, that would mean rain, right? Well, not in Colorado! Here, it's sunny one day and snowing the next. Really, my friends and I have been switching off eating inside and outside all week because one day it's beautiful and sunny and the next we'd freeze to death if we tried to eat outside!

So, for English class, we are now reading Romeo and Juliet. I love Shakespeare, though I will admit that R & J is not my favorite play of his--I love his comedies, Richard the Third, and Macbeth. But, I still think I'm going to enjoy it most out of all the books we've read this year, because I'll actually want to keep up with the reading. Anyway, as a part of this unit, we also have a Shakespeare festival project, in which we have groups and choose a play of Shakespeare's to perform (in front of a PLETHORA of people), plus some analyzing of our play (editing lines, etc), costumes, props, rehearsals, memorization, good portrayal...And it's worth about 500 to 600 points total! Okay, but I'm not too worried about that because I have a group of friends that I trust to do the work well and everything, and I'm pretty sure we're either performing a scene from Much Ado About Nothing or The Merry Wives of Windsor.

What is bothering me is that today I brought in my Yale Shakespeare: Complete Works. It's gigantic, but I told my group I would bring it so we could look at the plays (turns out there wasn't much point, since we didn't get to the play, just read Romeo and Juliet in class). Well, everyone in my English class kept staring at me like I was crazy--a few of my friends not in the class thought it was amazing, though. Since I've been so close to tears lately, I almost started crying. Yes, I know I'm different from most of my English class in that I love reading and books and writing and analyzing and school and learning, but some of the looks people gave me or the things they said really hurt deep down. *sigh*

And, see, this is why I really, really want to go to Fountain Valley. I feel incredibly selfish...and it does seem pretty impossible right now. But I think I would thrive there, with the close-knit community and the comprehensive classes and the peers who actually want to learn like I do. Kate called me during English (I didn't answer) about whether or not I was going to go, and I don't know what to do. Of course I do, but it doesn't seem like we have the money at the moment. *bigger, upset sigh*

Since Leslie asked me to make this, here is a list of certain things I don't like about Rampart that I am almost completely sure would be better at FVS:

• The class size. It's way too big, and often I feel completely lost in the classroom, especially with my shyness
• The community in the school--it isn't very close or personal or accommodating, if you really think about it. The majority of the teachers don't care about their students other than when/what they are doing in their particular class. It's too competitive for my liking, definitely, and just the overall atmosphere isn't great to me. At Fountain Valley, which is much smaller, teachers focus on their students and most are sports coaches--you even have one faculty member who is your adviser, and really wants to get to know you and what is going on in your life
• The majority of my peers (pay close attention to the word majority, not all) do not give a crap about school, other than like, "Oh, if I get all Bs, my parents will let me start driving!" The motivation to learn and apply what you are learning to your life and your future isn't there in most people, even though the IB program supposedly focuses on that
• I don't feel like I'm learning anything of much importance, and most of my classes are way to easy and basic, even certain of the IB ones. I'm not getting the English and Science classes I would like, because the teachers have a "priority" to focus on the students who are confused or doing worse or, excuse the slight rudeness, not as smart
• Overall, I'm just not happy there at all, for the reasons listed above as well as a few others like the sports teams, the lack of "community involvement," and a lot of the teachers...

The list doesn't necessarily end there, but you get the idea, I think.

Well, I am glad it is spring though. It's sunny, flowers are blooming, most of the time it's warmer. Only downside is that my allergies are coming back full force! But I'll survive, as those are really the absolute least of my problems at the moment. Well, to anyone who actually bothers to read this (which is probably no one): I hope you are having a better time at the moment than I am and I wish you much love and happiness in all aspects of your life! Cheers!